Please Dont Do This Again Jake
Elwood: Information technology'due south 106 miles to Chicago, we got a total tank of gas, one-half a pack of cigarettes, it'southward dark... and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.
[repeated line]
Elwood: We're on a mission from God.
Police Dispatcher: Use of unnecessary violence in the anticipation of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved.
Elwood: What kind of music exercise y'all ordinarily accept here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got state *and* western.
Mrs. Murphy: May I assist y'all boys?
Elwood: You lot got any white bread?
Mrs. Spud: Yes.
Elwood: I'll accept some toasted white bread please.
Mrs. Murphy: Yous desire butter or jam on that toast, honey?
Elwood: No ma'am, dry.
[Mrs. Murphy gives him a wait, then turns to Jake]
Jake: Got whatsoever fried craven?
Mrs. Murphy: All-time damn chicken in the state.
Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Mrs. Murphy: You lot desire chicken wings or chicken legs?
Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.
Elwood: And some dry white toast please.
Mrs. Murphy: Y'all desire anything to drink with that?
Elwood: No ma'am.
Jake: A Coke.
Mrs. Murphy: Be up in a minute
Elwood: Illinois Nazis.
Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis.
Jake: How oft does the train go by?
Elwood: Then frequently that you won't even notice information technology.
Jake: What'due south this?
Elwood: What?
Jake: This car. This stupid machine! Where'due south the Cadillac?
[Elwood doesn't respond]
Jake: The Caddy! Where's the Caddy?
Elwood: The what?
Jake: The Cadillac nosotros used to take. The Bluesmobile!
Elwood: I traded information technology.
Jake: You traded the Bluesmobile for this?
Elwood: No, for a microphone.
Jake: A microphone?
[interruption]
Jake: Okay I can see that. What the hell is this?
Elwood: This was a bargain. I picked it upwards at the Mountain Prospect metropolis police auction last bound. It's an old Mount Prospect law automobile. They were practically giving 'em away.
Jake: Well thank you, pal. The 24-hour interval I become outta prison, my own brother picks me up in a *police force* car!
Elwood: We're and so glad to see so many of you lovely people hither this evening. And we would especially similar to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community that take chosen to join us hither in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We certainly hope you all enjoy the show. And retrieve, people, that no matter who you are and what you lot practice to alive, thrive and survive, there're still some things that makes united states of america nevertheless. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody.
Jake: We're putting the band back together.
Mr. Fabulous: Forget it. No way.
Elwood: Nosotros're on a mission from God.
[while standing at the entrance to the Triple Rock church watching the service with much dancing and Hallelujah choruses, a heavenly light shines down on Jake and he has an epiphany]
Jake: The band? The band.
Reverend Cleophus James: Do YOU Come across THE LIGHT?
Jake: THE Ring!
Reverend Cleophus James: Practise YOU Come across THE Light?
Elwood: What lite?
Reverend Cleophus James: HAVE YOU SEEEEN THE LIGHT?
Jake: Yeah! Yeah! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST... I HAVE SEEN THE Light!
[Elwood Blues Jake Dejection has a fight over the police car Elwood Blues got after he traded away the original bluesmobile for a microphone]
Elwood: You don't like it?
Jake: No I don't similar it...
[Elwood Dejection floors the pedal and jumps over an open drawbridge]
Jake: Car's got a lot of pickup.
Elwood: Information technology's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, information technology's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made earlier catalytic converters so it'll run adept on regular gas. What do yous say, is information technology the new Bluesmobile or what?
[a cursory thinking suspension while Jake attempts to light a cigarette]
Jake: Fix the cigarette lighter.
Jake: [to Sister Mary Stigmata] Five one thousand? No problem, nosotros'll have information technology for you in the morning time. Let's become, Elwood.
Sister Mary Stigmata: No, no! I volition not take your filthy stolen money!
Jake: Well then... I gauge y'all're really upwardly Shit Creek.
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with a ruler for using that kind of language]
Sis Mary Stigmata: I beg your pardon, what did y'all say?
Jake: I offered to assist you... You refused to take our coin. So I said: I approximate you're actually up Shit Creek!
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with the ruler again]
Elwood: Christ, Jake. Accept information technology easy man.
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Dejection]
Jake: Oh shit!
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues]
Elwood: Jesus Christ!
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Blues]
Jake: Shit!
[to man in restaurant]
Jake: [fakes accent] How much for the lilliputian girl? How much for the women?
Father: What?
Jake: Your women. I want to purchase your women. The little girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children!
[after a burst of gunfire from the Mystery Adult female, Jake climbs to his feet, covered in mud from the tunnel flooring]
Jake: It's expert to see you, sweetheart.
Mystery Adult female: You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for yous, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the 7 limousines for the wedding political party, my father used upward his final favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my female parent, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now impale you, and your brother.
[Jake falls to his knees]
Jake: Oh, please, don't kill u.s.a.! Please, please don't impale usa! Yous know I dearest yous infant. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my error!
Mystery Adult female: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your fashion out of this? You betrayed me.
Jake: No, I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I... I had a apartment tire. I didn't have plenty money for cab fare. My tux didn't come up dorsum from the cleaners. An one-time friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible overflowing. Locusts! Information technology WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
[Elwood covers his caput in apprehension of more gunfire, Jake removes his sunglasses to brand a wordless entreatment, and the Mystery Adult female visibly softens]
Mystery Woman: Oh, Jake... Jake, beloved...
[Jake embraces the Mystery Woman and they kiss]
Jake: [to Elwood] Let's go.
[He drops the Mystery Adult female and walks off]
Elwood: [to the Mystery Woman as he steps past her] Accept information technology like shooting fish in a barrel.
Murph: Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray.
Ray: Ah, y'all have a good eye, my man. That's the best in the city Chicago.
Jake: How much?
Ray: 2000 bucks and it'due south yours. You can have it home with you. Equally a matter of fact, I'll throw in the black keys for complimentary.
[Sis Mary Stigmata hits Elwood with her stick]
Elwood: Ow, you fat penguin!
Jake: How are yous gonna get the band dorsum together, Mr. Hot Rodder? Those cops have your name, your address...
Elwood: They don't have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put downward 1060 West Addison.
Jake: 1060 West Addison? That'due south Wrigley Field.
Jake: We'll put the band back together, practise a few gigs, we get some bread. Bang! Five 1000 bucks.
Elwood: Aye, well, getting the band back together might not that exist that easy, Jake.
Jake: What are you talking about?
Elwood: They split up, they all took straight jobs.
Jake: Yeah, and then y'all know where they are. You lot said yous were gonna keep in touch on with them.
Elwood: Well... I got a couple of leads, a few phone numbers, but I mean, how many of them visited or fifty-fifty wrote you lot, huh?
Jake: They're non the kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, I was inside. You were supposed to go along in touch with the band. I kept asking you if we were gonna play again.
Elwood: Well, what was I gonna do? Take away your only hope? Take away the very matter that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of bullshitting you, okay?
Jake: Y'all lied to me.
Elwood: It wasn't a lie, it was just bullshit.
Jake: First you traded the Cadillac in for a microphone. Then you lied to me about the band. And at present you lot're gonna put me correct back in the joint!
Elwood: They're non gonna grab us. We're on a mission from God.
Elwood: This is mucilage. Strong stuff.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: So, Jake, you're out, yous're free, you're rehabilitated. What's adjacent? What'southward happenin'? What you gonna practise? Y'all got the coin you owe us, motherfucker?
Burton Mercer: Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.
[Elwood Blues has just passed on a red lite, and a police force auto rolls up behind them. The words are said in the same rhythm equally a dejection song ("Soothe Me") on the machine stereo]
Elwood: Shit.
Jake: What?
Elwood: Rollers...
Jake: No.
Elwood: Yeah.
Jake: Shit.
Matt Tater: Ah. Don't go riled, saccharide.
Mrs. Murphy: Don't you "Don't get riled, carbohydrate" me! You ain't goin' dorsum on the route no more, and yous ain't playin' them ol' two-bit sleazy dives. Yous're livin' with me at present, and you not gonna become slidin' around witcho ol' white hoodlum friends.
Matt Murphy: But babes, this is Jake and Elwood, the Dejection Brothers.
Mrs. Murphy: The Blues Brothers? Shit! They even so owe you coin, fool.
Jake: Ma'am, would it make you lot experience any amend if you knew that what we're asking Matt here to do is a holy thing?
Elwood: Yous see, we're on a mission from God.
Mrs. Potato: Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here! This is my man, this is my eating place, and y'all two are just gonna walk correct out that door without your dry white toast, without your four fried chickens, and without Matt "Guitar" Spud!
Elwood: Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now.
Elwood: [Police have surrounded the Blues Brothers concert] ... And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois'southward law enforcement customs that have chosen to bring together the states here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time...
Gruppenfuehrer: [to Head Nazi, equally they plummet off the bridge] I've always loved you lot.
Jake: Uh, Bob, most the money for tonight.
Bob: Oh, aye, $200, and yous boys drank $300 worth of beer.
[Carrie flame throws a propane tank adjacent to a phone booth they are in - it blows sky high and crashes down to earth - the phone breaking in half]
Elwood: Hey, Jake. Gotta be at least seven dollars worth of change here.
Jake: [nearly the electric piano] $two,000 for this clamper of shit? C'monday, Ray.
Murph: [tests the piano] I hateful really, Ray, it's used. There's no action left in this keyboard.
Ray: [smiles, comes out to the piano] E-excuse me, uh, I don't think in that location's anything incorrect with the action on this piano.
[launches into "Milkshake Your Tail Feather"]
[Jake Blues is released on parole and gets back all the things he wore when he was arrested]
Corrections Officer: One Timex digital spotter, broken. One unused condom.
[looks disgusted, picks something up with his pen]
Corrections Officer: Ane soiled. One black adjust jacket, one pair black suit pants. One hat
[punches it back out to full]
Corrections Officer: blackness. One pair of sunglasses. $23.07. Sign here.
[while they are driving around in the shopping mall with ii police cars on their tail]
Elwood: Baby clothes...
Jake: This place has got everything.
Jake: Book us for tomorrow night.
Maury Sline: Concur information technology, hold information technology. Tomorrow night? What are you talking about? A gig similar that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.
Elwood: I know all about that stuff. I accept been exploited all my life.
[the Good Ole Boys arrive late]
Jake: My name is Jacob Stein. I'm from the American Federation of Music. I've been sent to run into if you gentlemen are conveying your permits.
Tucker McElroy: Our what?
Jake: Your union cards. May I meet your cards delight?
Tucker McElroy: Well, suppose nosotros ain't got no spousal relationship cards and go in there and start playin' anyway? Whatcha gonna do about that? You gonna finish us, Stein? Ha. You're gonna look pretty funny tryin' to swallow corn on the cob with no fuckin' teeth!
Mr. Fabled: No, sir, Mayor Daley no longer dines hither. He'southward dead, sir.
Elwood: The light was yellow, sir.
Reverend Cleophus James: And now, people... And now, people... When I woke up this mornin', I heard a distubin' sound. I said When I woke up this mornin', I heard a disturbin' sound! What I heard was the jingle-jangle of a thousand lost souls! I'm talkin' 'bout the souls of mortal men and women, departed from this life. Expect a minute! Those lost angry souls roamin' unseen on the earth, seekin' to detect life they'll not find, because information technology's as well belatedly! Tooooo belatedly, aye! Also belatedly for they'll never encounter again the life they choose non to follow. Alright! Alright! Don't be lost when your time comes! For the day of the Lord cometh as a thief in the dark!
[singing]
Reverend Cleophus James: YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH! Can I get an AMEN?
[congregation shouts "AMEN!"]
Reverend Cleophus James: Can I get an AMEN?
[congregation shouts "AMEN!" once again]
Reverend Cleophus James: Well Well Well!
[breaks into "The Old Landmark"]
[the brothers race around the mall parking lot]
Elwood: Nosotros'll be all right if we tin only go dorsum on the expressway.
Jake: This don't await similar no pike to me!
Elwood: Don't yell at me.
Jake: Well whadda you desire me to do, Motorhead?
Elwood: Try not to be then negative all the time. Why don't yous offering a trivial... constructive criticism?
Jake: Yous got us into to this parking lot, pal. Now you lot get the states out!
Elwood: You desire outta this parking lot?... O.One thousand.
[Camille has fired a car gun at Jake and Elwood]
Elwood: Who *is* that daughter?
Tucker McElroy: [to Bob after they accidently drive into a lake] Don't you lot say a fucking discussion!
[Arriving at the Orphanage]
Jake: What are nosotros doing here?
Elwood: You promised you'd visit the penguin the day you got out.
Jake: Yeah? Then I lied to her.
Elwood: Y'all can't lie to a nun. Nosotros got to go in and visit the penguin.
Jake: No... fucking... mode.
Curtis: Practise you guys know 'Minnie the Moocher'?
Murph: I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!
Jake: [falls downwards after getting smacked by Sister Mary Stigmata] Fuck this noise, man!
Elwood: Hey you sleaze, my bed!
Sister Mary Stigmata: [afterward chasing Jake and Elwood out of her office with a ruler for using foul linguistic communication] Yous are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so difficult for you. Information technology saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the X Commandments have returned to me as two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes.
[pauses and points at them]
Sister Mary Stigmata: Go out, and don't come dorsum until you've redeemed yourselves.
Elwood: Hey, Jake. Jake. I gotta pull over.
[he drives the Bluesmobile off the road, right through a guardrail]
Elwood: You want I should launder the expressionless bugs off the windshield?
[Trying to get Mr. Fabulous back into the band]
Jake: If you say no, Elwood and I will come up here for breakfast, tiffin, and dinner every solar day of the calendar week.
[Elwood takes a huge, obnoxious seize with teeth out of his staff of life]
Mr. Fabulous: Okay, okay. I'll play. You got me.
[equally the Blues Brothers are trying to haggle the cost of a pianoforte, a little boy is in the back trying to steal a guitar. Of a sudden, Ray whips out a gun and -- despite being blind -- almost misses hitting the boy]
Ray: At present, go on! Get!
[the trivial male child scurries away]
Ray: [sadly] Breaks my heart to come across a boy that immature goin' bad.
Maury Sline: What are you guys gonna practise? The aforementioned act? You lot wear the aforementioned verkakte suits?
Elwood: This is definitely Lower Wacker Drive! If my estimations are correct, we should exist very close to the Honorable Richard J. Daley Plaza!
Jake: That'south where they got that Picasso.
Elwood: Yep.
Elwood: I bet these cops got SCMODS.
Jake: SCMODS?
Elwood: State County Municipal Offender Data System.
Jake: Maury, you gotta come up through for united states. Nosotros need $5,000 fast.
Maury Sline: $5,000? Who practise you recollect you are, The Beatles?
Elwood: Tonight merely, the fabulous Blues Brothers. Rhythm and Blues review. The Palace Hotel Ballroom. Route xvi. Lake Wazzapamani. The fabulous Dejection Brothers show band and review.
Begetter: [trying to get Mr. Fabled attention] Sir? Sir... sir... SIR!... SIR!
Murph: [reacting to the lights at Bob's Country Bar being turned off] Hey, why'd they plough out the lights?
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: Perhaps they blew a fuse.
'Blue Lou' Marini: I don't think then, man! Those lights are off on purpose.
Curtis: Well, the Sister was correct. You lot boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Stone, and catch Rev. Cleophus. You lot boys listen to what he's got to say.
Jake: Curtis, I don't want to heed to no jive-donkey preacher talking to me about Heaven and Hell.
Curtis: Jake, you become wise. Yous get to church.
Elwood: [afterwards crashing the Bluesmobile in a auto dealership] The new Oldsmobiles are in early on this year!
Elwood: You on the motorcycle... Y'all two girls... tell your friends.
Ray: Pardon me, but we have a strict policy apropos the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray'south Music Exchange must exist present. Now, may I assist yous?
Bob: That ain't no Hank Williams song!
Elwood's Boss: [deleted scene] Hello Elwood, sit down down. What's on your heed?
Elwood: I gotta quit.
Elwood'southward Boss: Why is that, Elwood?
Elwood: I'g... I'chiliad going to go a priest.
Elwood's Boss: Well okay! Listen I'll call payroll and accept them go your severance pay ready.
[they rise and shake easily]
Elwood: God anoint you, sir.
[subsequently arriving at Wrigley Field, thinking it'south Elwood's house]
Head Nazi: [to the Nazis] Anybody with that kind of tape is gonna make a mistake. I want all political party members in the tri-state district to monitor the city, county and country police on their CBs. Mr. Blues is gonna fuck upward, and when he does... he meliorate pray the police get to him earlier we do.
Jake: Look at you, in those candy-donkey monkey suits. And I thought I had it bad in Joliet.
Willie 'Too Large' Hall: At least we got a change of clothes, sucker. You're wearing the same shit yous had on three years ago.
Elwood: [during "Everybody Needs Somebody to Love"] People, when you practise find that special somebody, yous gotta hold that human being, hold that woman! Love him, delight him, squeeze her, please her! Signify your feelings with every gentle cuddle, because information technology'due south and then important to accept that special somebody to hold, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze, and please!
Mrs. Tarantino: Mister Man! Mister Man! Mister Man. They left this card.
Jake: Disco pants and haircuts...
Elwood: Yeah, lots of space in this mall.
Jake: Take $1400 and give it to Ray'southward Music Exchange in Calumet City. Give the rest to the ring.
Elwood: I gotta hit the sack.
[He sees that Jake has fallen asleep on his bed]
Elwood: Hey, you sleaze. My bed!
[Elwood pauses for a second, then retrieves the liquor bottle and sets it abreast the hot plate. He spreads a blanket over his brother]
Curtis: Boys, you lot got to learn non to talk to nuns that way.
[at the endmost, equally each grapheme is credited]
Reverend Cleophus James: The lamentable sack was sittin' on a block o' stone/Manner over in the corner weepin' all alone/
Curtis: The warden said, "Hey, buddy, don't you be no square / if y'all tin't notice a partner use a wooden chair!"
Ray: Let'south rock, everybody, let's rock/
Mrs. Spud: Everybody on the whole cell cake / Was dancin' to the Jailhouse rock.
Elwood: [the Mystery Woman sprays the tunnel with gunfire every bit Jake and Elwood dive for the basis] Who *is* that girl?
Mystery Adult female: Well Jake, you look just fine down there, slithering in the mud like vermin.
Jake: [makes a reassuring gesture to Elwood] No problem.
Mr. Fabled: Yes? How are your salads?
Father: The salads are fine. It's but that nosotros'd like to move to a new tabular array... away from those two gentlemen.
[Mr. Fabulous glances briefly at Jake and Elwood stuffing their faces at the table beside the family unit]
Mr. Fabulous: Why? Have they been agonizing you lot?
Father: No, it's just that... well bluntly, they're offensive. Smelling. I mean they physically smell... bad.
Elwood: Our blessed Lady of Acceleration, don't fail me now.
Jake: That Night Railroad train'south a mean vino.
Head Nazi: White men! White women! The swastika is calling you. The sacred and ancient symbol of your race, since the showtime of time. The Jew is using The Black every bit muscle against you. And you are left at that place helpless. Well, what are you going to do most it, Whitey? Just sit there? Of form not! You are going to bring together with u.s.a.. The members of the American Socialist White Peoples' Political party. An organization of decent, constabulary abiding white folk. Just like you!
[kickoff lines]
Prison Guard #ane: Yep, the Assistant Warden wants this one out of the block early. Wants to become it over with fast.
Prison Guard #2: Okay, let's do it.
[rattling the bars with his baton]
Prison Guard #1: Hey come on, information technology's time to wake up.
Prison Baby-sit #2: Wake up. Let's go, it's time.
[striking the sleeping Jake with his billy]
Elwood: Don't worry, they won't grab us -- we're on a mission from God.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: You lot'll never get Matt and Mr. Fabled out of them high-payin' gigs.
Jake: Oh yes? Well me and the Lord, we take an understanding.
Jake: [to Mystery Adult female] I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come up back from the cleaners. An one-time friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my auto. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locust's. Information technology wasn't my fault! I swear to God!
Mystery Woman: Ohh, Jake!
[He kisses her, she sets down her gun and he lets her fall into the mud]
[last lines]
Entire Coiffure: Everybody in the whole cell block was dancing to the Jailhouse Stone!
Contribute to This Page
Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080455/quotes/qt0320080
0 Response to "Please Dont Do This Again Jake"
Post a Comment